Episode 8: Carolyn Deck - Soaring Above the Turbulences

Meet Carolyn Deck, an author and travel agent with an extraordinary tale of overcoming life's challenges. This episode delves deep into her journey of rising above turbulence and how she transformed childhood pain into a beacon of hope. 

Carolyn's book "Above the Turbulence" is available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/iduY1f7.

Through the power of choices, Carolyn showcases the essence of personal growth and the beauty of triumphing over adversity. Join us as we explore her inspiring story, emphasizing the importance of resilience, hope, and the transformative choices that lead us to new heights.

This audio podcast is about How Carolyn Deck Turned Life's Pain Into Purpose: Must-Watch Story. But It also covers the following topics: 

Inspirational Life Stories
Real-Life Transformation Stories
Journey Of Resilience

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Transcript

there is Living Hope for today but the certainty for tomorrow and that stems from your choices today we're delighted to introduce you to Carolyn Deck she is the author of the book above the turbulence your ticket out of pain to purpose she will share with us how she conquered childhood Pain by using the trials as fuel to help her rise above her past Brokenness

[Music] welcome to hello world Carolyn thank you for joining us to share your story hi Lily it's a privilege to be here thank you for having me I you know I just love your accent please share share with us where you're from and a little bit about yourself thank you well um as my husband would say I'm a little further south of Miami [Laughter] I'm from New Zealand um and raised um I grew up as a little girl there um moved around a little bit as you as we will talk about um homes and so forth I then actually found myself Living in America for a year as an exchange student and that was amazing and I love my family we're still in touch today in Kansas and Wichita and that was just such a blessing and a highlight for me as a child growing up actually I returned to New Zealand got into the travel industry and spent my career as a travel agent and then married had four children in New Zealand and then we moved we moved to Australia had another child there dear sweet William and um really we've just spent the uh well we've been married 32 years wow yes we've had we had 12 or 15 I think it was 15 years in Australia I started in South Australia moved to Brisbane for another three years and then we've been in Chicago for the last eight years oh you're now in Chicago yes it's such such a difference from being south of South Florida yes well it's funny though Lily this city is called the Windy City yes and I grew up in Wellington it's windy city oh for different reasons for different reasons so you we will as we go along with our conversation today everyone will hear a lot of you know travel related terminologies and that makes sense because you've been a travel agent for a good part of your career right yes yes so it was all my career and um and then I was grateful to be able to stop and raise my children that's that's fantastic that you have that choice so I like to play a little game um just to just to you know get to know you a little bit more what are like three words or three short phrases that would best describe you

passionate strong

and hopeful those those three words will come out through our conversation perfect thank you for for uh thinking through that because um it's a quick way to kind of get deep right yes I mean I could tease those out but as you say you you'll probably hear me okay well um we're gonna kind of cover basically what's written in this book and hopefully everyone will have a chance to buy it but what this book kind of started out with is is she had a little bit of a turbulent start in your life um could you explain that turbulence or share that turbulence with the Audi with our audience so they can have an understanding of where things got started or where you come from with your past yes well sadly um it's a story that is well read I think in today's world children coming out of dysfunctional families as people we come broken we do we come with our own baggage don't we and because we get married doesn't mean that they're now two broken people make a perfect right um Unity right they come together in the hope that things will be wonderful but the reality is that we do come with our own issues our own insecurities and that was no different from my parents um and sadly that overwhelmed them as people and they grew apart and then yes it became very turbulent and very dysfunctional for both of them and my older sister was was there for me um as a child growing up but I found myself often Being the adult in in in my family helping my poor sweet mother um who was so struggling with her own life and my dad struggling with his life and they just really took two different paths mum took to unfortunately substance abuse and my dad took to Let's Get Busy let's get out of here let's go refocus and help someone else and and that's basically the essence of what happened yes yes so it it like you say that's that's um almost a little bit unfortunate commonplace where um this functional family happens or a communication breakdown so so through that um childhood if you will that that season of Life how has that affected you glastons I still ask the question sometimes how is it that I came out okay um it wasn't until years later and actually in the process of writing my book above the turbulence your ticket out of pain to purpose that I actually was able to stop and pause and refocus and go back not to relive the turbulence because I don't think that serves any purpose but I Revisited the past and um that gave me a very different framework to work toward as to understanding who I was and and my identity and so um shape really I I take this from Rick Warren they um daily hope um and S is your spiritual gifting we're created by God and He does gift us um a very specific unique gift H stands for our heart or For Me Passion very passionate person um a is our abilities p is our personality and E is our experience of life and so we're all uniquely made and when I stopped and paused and looked at that and the benefit of doing that and I was able to refocus and realize that out of out of the debris of that I am who I am but it doesn't Define my future it actually enhanced who I was which was amazing insight when I read your book and when you describe the your childhood there was a couple of points that really tugged at me I guess the the the pain um that I felt along with you you mentioned the book that as your parents were each going their own way and dealing with their unhappiness you felt a little bit left out of the picture and um and when things got worse they were trying to figure out what to do with you in a way is that is that right is it like totally worth trying to work out what to do with me and yes to your point um I probably that I don't recall in all honesty there must have been feelings of rejection right that nobody wanted me but maybe that meant that I was worthless I wasn't worth caring for or worth having um just grateful for the fact that I don't consciously remember that what I consciously remember is when my wonderful sister and her husband offered to care for me yes I just saw that as green light to go and that just fired me up to go wow I've been given an opportunity and what am I going to do with this I am choosing to take the absolute best out of this opportunity in life because not everybody gets that and perhaps subconsciously I realized wow you know I have someone that loves and cares for me um mum wasn't able to and for some reason dad chose not to but I didn't focus on that I just focused on this wow this is an opportunity I'm going to embrace it all and be I was so grateful so you shared about um the shape and that was interesting to think about each of us in our life has its our own shape so because of your shape in how you are made you're able to look at when your sister says I will take her under my wings if you know okay parents you guys are having your own issues you didn't say woe is me because of your shape you thought as a new day yes I um I didn't do the blame game either and I didn't do the the why why is this happening to me this is my encouragement to everybody that you know we live on a in a broken world and we all have our own hurts and pains but that the most incredible thing is that if we are courageous enough to stop and go back back down that path of pain and don't ask why reframe it sure reframe it and ask the what questions what was happening back then what was happening perhaps not just to me but to those around me what what can I learn from this and when you do that you move out of being a victim into Victory and so I challenge my reader to and I challenge to challenge myself and be brave enough to look at the truth and dismiss the lie because we could be covering up a hidden lie that needs exposing and needs light to illuminate into that so Andy Stanley puts it very really very well what we believe we act on and our actions create outcomes now the problem is that people will keep acting and the outcomes change I don't change they act the same way based on what they believe subconsciously and the outcomes are the same so if we try to change our actions without really delving into the truth of what we believe we're going to end up with the same outcome right you see it over and over and what do they say the fall is the person that keeps doing the same thing expecting a different outcome yes it doesn't happen or very rarely happens until you make that intentional choice to go whoa hang on let's just stop I don't like this outcome what not why but what can I do where is the power that I can take from my choices and my responses to what happened to me to give a pic a different picture reframe our thinking and you'll get a different picture

that were you always have that perspective or is that something that has grown over time um I think I think the answer really is it was in me already I was made like that wide like that it would seem because as as I've done the done the work and gone back I've realized that is how I've responded subconsciously now I'm doing it really intentionally and even more so I am like as I said I live in hope I live and not just hope wishy-washy are oh gosh well you know I hope I get to the gym or oh I hope I have that holiday or I hope tomorrow will be sunny it's not that kind of hope it's a a definite hope of I know my tomorrow it's it's a tangible hope that's sure I'm because of my faith and because I know that my today which I don't know we can't even say what's going to happen in half an hour that's right yes well you know it gives me the motivation for my today for those who are not that not wired that way yes how I think that you kind of allude to some of the the how to's what are your thoughts on how to um again none of us are professionals these are our opinions um yes how to how to address that if we're not naturally wired to bounce back in a certain way my feelings on that are it's really good to stop and pause and reflect having God's word is my authority I tease out the fact that man simply do not know we don't know what's going to happen in half an hour we don't know what will happen next month humility is a really hard coat to wear it's basically saying I don't know yes that posture we need to add the posture of I don't know that hunt makes you hungry to know more truth and that's what I have found and that's been my absolute experience and so as to that what do I do when you're not wide this way I would say to those people be careful because often we are driven by our feelings sure be very careful feelings lie a feeling is an emotion and the emotions of anxiety and stress anger resentment hate hatred which just look around the world I kind of feel like it's full of that actually sadly and so it's no wonder that we've got those outcomes so when you dismiss your feelings and actually start acting into what you want your feelings catch up with you and so you actually have to start acting and dismiss the feeling because this feeling it's it's like I find it it's it's paralyzing people are paralyzed by their feelings and their feelings lie I mean God tells us that out of our heart we're so deceitful even to ourselves so I think I think your points well taken that um sometimes we need to Captivate our thoughts because we can take our our either driven by fear or driven by uh emotions that we may sometimes take it more than what it actually is and become too dramatic um yeah but to to ground ourselves right with truth the other thing that is an issue with that is who do we listen to and worst off we listen to ourselves this monologue that goes on and on and on round and round and round and that drives us into all sorts of fear and anxiety because we're filling our own head with things that are destructive not to mention the the things that we listen to We believe that we were told as a child possibly or or um a teacher might have told you you're useless or you're never going to achieve that I mean my son has testimony to that he was he shared with his teacher he was going to be a pilot he wanted to be a pilot and the teacher said well Dad you're never going to be a pilot well guess what he's a pilot oh and he's designed with American Airlines everybody's in that travel industry runs in the family there you go but so to my point you know how you ask me how if you're notified this way we need to be intentional and I liken it here's one of my travel themed silly things but I say you need to be the air traffic controller of your mind when a thought comes in send it away yes send it away you do not have to have that thought land and if it's not helpful dismiss it if what somebody has said to you is hurtful well you could sit to see if there's a little bit of Truth in that that just maybe you need to address but if it's really destructive the power no one else could control your choices or your responses only we can do that yes so take control of that okay so we we kind of covered um that for you your life started out a little bit challenging but you were given an opportunity to start anew by your sister's offer to take you under her wings and and you mentioned in your introduction and after that you basically when packing and traveled all over the place right and um and what you were a foreign exchange student in Kansas of all places to to go is middle of the country in Kansas and um and then and then all your life experiences like you say shape you you're provided the shape of Carolyn deck one thing you mentioned I thought I was so interesting because of your personality and how it matched your name and um you would you like to share your your naming the different um yeah my dear friend Tammy um she guided me to a book called to be told and in that book it asked me to look at the meaning of my name and all through the Bible you see stories of who God used and how he changes their name or he's he empowers them into their name and I looked at my name and it so I had this this thing going on with my dad always wanting a boy and it was this aha moment that my name Carolyn which I never have liked because they always get people get it wrong oh hi Caroline right there's variations yes it's irritating um and dad for his children seemed to choose Bible names and mine's not in the Bible and I'm like huh so anyway I had to look at the meaning of my name and my father's name is Charles and Charles means for on the feminine side Carolyn means strong hmm that was my aha moment that yes I am so strong I I came through dysfunction I I had victory over that I was a I love that one of my other passions is Sport I love Sport and I played a lot of sports so I was really physically strong I feel I'm really mentally strong not in not in having phds or anything but strong in experience of life and strong and persisting resilience resilience yes I've had many operations I've had to learn how to walk again many many times and I'm like yes wow I am strong this is awesome I am who he created me to be and that was a very emotional moment for me to to actually have that aha moment what a blessing to I think you you just recently found out as you were writing the book right yes yes yeah so so that's your name is that your father gave you actually Kind of Perfect it's perfect yeah it's actually perfect so that's that's that's really that's really um it was really sweet and Not only was it sweet it it fitted well into my story that yes before what we believe see our self-image what we tell ourselves is so destructive yes sometimes we we talk to ourselves the worst way

mm-hmm so one thing I wanted to ask because you know you wrote the story you you you heard a calling to write the story in Kicking and Screaming or not you did it um and now you're you're out there and talking about it my question for you is doesn't that feel like you're picking up picking at your heart scab every time you have to talk about it that is such a great question actually Lily um I've got my book here I'll just read it quote I'm sure an answer to that question it's um the third chapter so it's very early on in my book and it's on page 12. until we stop face in other words be truthful face up and heal the wounds of our past they will continue to bleed leaving a stain on our lives yes yes so to your question how is it that I can do this I don't have scabs I have scars um I am healed a scar and this was another aha moment it was like wow God wants to use the scars not the scabs he wants us healed we sometimes resist their healing but he wants us healed so that then we can move on in life and I realized another aha wow did Jesus die on the cross he was scarred right and he he had wounds in his feet in his hands and his side he was God he died as man but he rose again as God guess what he didn't have scabs he had scars so interesting that was so powerful for me and that's why he goes my favorite Lifeline versus Jeremiah 29 11. for I know the plans I have for you they are good not to harm to prosper and give hope there you go is that is that from a is that from traffic it was a gift somebody understood from one of my readers and interestingly it's another aha moment I'm from New Zealand and my Facebook page you'll see I am hope this is decades ago and now I have a jumper that says hope and now my message is hope you see that's how God works the dark connecting huh it's very dark connecting and that leads into the next thing as to who my faces with names people are and your book used a lot of travel analogies or travel vocabularies if you will and there were there were a couple of uh example that I'd just like for you to um unpack a little bit for us um the first one that's that you use that I like to hear more about is you talk about packing light or packing lightly what does that mean and what does that mean to you personally sure so as a travel agent I would highly suggest that when you go on holiday and if you're holidaying or traveling there are slightly different things but it it is so much easier to travel with less and my experience is that you don't wear half of what you take anyway and so getting through airports delays Etc if you can possibly condense it all the way down to a carry-on bag which is what my husband and I now travel with that's hard I suppose to lugging a great big suitcase full of clothes that really you don't need so my analogy with that is as humans we just can't help ourselves but we carry excess baggage and like I alluded to with my poor parents you know they came into a marriage with baggage we all have in our own baggage it does weigh us down yes it's painful and it usually costs but costs a lot what is one thing you can look back and said I left that baggage of my life what is there an example that you can think of that is that we can relate to and I left that one back there for example um the lies

lies I told myself

um subconsciously I think more so than anything this narrative in my head that oh my gosh I came out of failure I'll be a failure I see um or or like you say before you know that that saying an apple doesn't fall far from the tree oh that that is true in some respects but again we still have choices and my dear mother was in her emotional State really from a choice of hearing her mother say something when she was a little girl and she clung hold of that lie and so for me you know I don't have the smarts of a degree or going off to University

but I do have the benefit of having stopped and reflected and gone well they were my mother's choices

they don't have to be my choices and in a very fragile

vulnerable part of our Lives when mum and I were sharing together [Music] she said okay so your father gave you you know the introduction and planted the seed of faith and I can see that that Harvest has you know you you reap what you sow and so yes I've reaped that Harvest over and over and and he's so trustworthy and I just love that mum said to me so what have I given you in life and this was this was very painful for her to hear but it was the truth and I'm all about how being strong on truth I said mum this pains me to say but you taught me how not to live wow and she looks so forlorn and sad understandably and I gave her a big hug and we cried and I said but mum that is almost one of the greatest lessons you could have given me because life is all about Choice um and how we choose to respond and seeing her life unfold the way it did as I was a child as an adolescent making choices as um you know a teenager in my 20s and my 30s I kept that sort of Forefront that I have a choice and yes that those choices sadly defined my mother's life but they don't have to Define my viewers and I need to be responsible all my choices that what a what a thank you for sharing that because that that really brings home um that concept of traveling light now another one I thought it was a um so today um because I see everybody where I'm on the playing is the the noise canceling headphones you had that analogy so again share with us and and how did you apply it in your life so we have noise waves and voices and messaging coming at us 24 7 and in fact some people can't actually live without it you know the first thing they do in the morning is turn on the television or CNN or yeah yeah messages on their phone it's just like filling this this headspace right and so for me what I worked on and I say you know to be a master of something you have to practice it and um I haven't fully mastered it because you know you get under attack a few times and then your brain goes back and you feel sorry for yourself and then you've got a choice so for me having noise canceling headphones means I'm not going to allow that to enter my brain I'm going to be the air traffic controller I'm going to send that away I'm going to send that noise away that destroys me or that is a lie or that is not uplifting and I'm going to actually intentionally put on noise canceling and listen intentionally to what does uplift me what is empowering what does motivate me and strengthen me and give me hope that's what I listen to and you call that your playlist right yes and and it's um kind of like living with a rhythm I mean you have your playlist Rhythm but my rhythm and life each day is I get up and my first playlist is I want to know what God has for me today I want to hear the good news I don't need to hear the news because let's face it most of it isn't good that's why we have the hello world podcast so we can bring some good news so I'm on a regular basis for decades now I listen to daily hope it's a theme of my life seems like it it is it's a theme and I listened to daily hope and I love Rick Warren because you're a seven on the Enneagram I'm an eight and it says that I really hate lies which means I love and live into truth and I love how Rick Warren he just he just talks truth so plainly and honestly and so I listen to him that's my first between him and Dr Jeremiah which is turning yeah I love that and then I have my Bible Study Fellowship which you know um so that's what I feel myself with and then if I'm feeling a bit down I I'll I will listen to some uplifting music my girlfriend just sent me one oh this is great yesterday she sent me one um I think it's um rise like Lazarus oh yes I think I've heard it it's pretty powerful amazing it's like the lyrics say you're in the darkness of the lies rise like Lazarus into the truth and live I'm like oh that's my song powerful yeah it's so powerful and again we have choices yes we and we can choose what we listen to We can choose who we listen to we can change channel and choose what not to listen to yeah turn it off turn it off okay so now with the book when I purchased the book on Amazon I noticed that all the proceeds goes to faces with names who who are they and what do they do and why did you choose to give all your proceeds to them when I was a little girl we didn't have a lot and um I would be given money for either birthday or Christmas and the seed of Love of Africa was sewn way back then for whatever reason I don't know I was only a kid I was only little but I was fascinated and I loved all things Africa fast forward I'm a travel agent and now I find myself in Africa and I'm pinching myself I'm like oh my gosh childhood dream I'm here yes um collecting sticks out in the open savannas these tall grasses and and then out of nowhere came these little faces at me such joy in that not happiness but joy it was like if it was happiness if it's based on happiness well they have nothing so our happenings are based you know make us happy or not well these children had Joy they had nothing but you could tell their eyes were so welcoming they welcomed me into their space and I just went oh my goodness you know if one day I'd love to connect somehow I don't know mm-hmm fast forward and now have a daughter who wants to go to Malawi and build homes for orphaned children wow and you know through HIV you know now they're orphans and so she came home with the most glorious photos of these little children and you know the switching their hands over going well you look different to me and our hands this way are the same but that's uh like how can this be you know the interaction was priceless and I just saw their faces again so now fast forward I'm writing a book I have no idea what I'm doing so I invest in myself I I pay for a trip to Austin Texas where I go to a writing Workshop okay eat a man called Eric Mills and we've had all day writing we're exhausted we're sitting around a fire and he I said okay Eric so what's your story and he goes oh I'm writing about adopting a little girl from China but that's actually led me to a foundation called faces with names and then he showed me his brochure they're so beautiful there's the face now I just had this Epiphany this aha moment I'm like oh my gosh that seed of love was planted as a child a decades later I went a decade later my daughter went and now a decade later I met Eric and he said sometimes in life he just joined the dots you just got to join that he joined the dots and then I knew oh my gosh I am writing this book so all proceeds go to help these little kids in Uganda and the Widow wives wow and those starts took three decades to kind of connect but they all came together 50 50 decades really five decades yeah oh yeah because you were a little girl yeah and I was a little girl and you know my lifeline verse and this is what I fill my head with and this is where I get my Hope from I have certainty of my tomorrow and my lifeline verse is Jeremiah 29 11. for I know the plans I have for you says the Lord good not to harm to prosper and give what hope and it's like he he just keeps joining these dots and he's leading me back to him and this is the story of my book he wanted me to heal I live in Victory now I'm Healed and so that's why I can now give my message of Hope because I live into it every day it is living hope it's it's solid and I know my future is is secure and certain I know where I'm going and I just want to bring everyone along with me how beautiful is is it to be able to see the dots connected in things to make sense and and the message of hope that repeats throughout your life and and once you can string it together it's even more powerful so what's what's next for you so um I want to read my book I want to create an audible book with your beautiful accent that'd be awesome thank you yes um so that's definitely on the on the list of things to do and I need to hurry up and get going with that um my daughter and I we're going to travel to Uganda um so I want to get more involved Hands-On um with helping them and being open to how I can do that um my husband interestingly and I'm helping him join his dots he um he will be coming into retirement soon and he's had over 40 years in the agricultural space okay and um part of Eric's vision for the future for these children is so far they they have a medical center they have a primary school they have Fields they're growing crops but um in the very near future they've secured a deposit for pop Parcels they call it Parcels of land so um they're going to be taking these children not just to primary school but their vision and their hope is to take them right through school and get them fully educated so um that is um something that's going to be happening um uh that creating a bigger Medical Center they are growing crops now this is where my husband gets involved to um to actually grow them efficiently and you'll see if you have a look at me on Facebook I am hope that's my message on interestingly which I put on there like two decades ago so that's again very interesting um you'll you'll be able to see um exactly this vision and where it's going it's so exciting um and then recreationally um there's going to be a pocket of land there for them to play soccer that sounds really exciting I'm really happy that that's coming into fruition now at the end we're coming to an end and I know we we talked a lot about various different things and I just want to give you an opportunity to kind of recap or or to leave behind at this lasting message what you want the audience if they heard nothing else if they went and got a cup of coffee then hit catch everything what is the the one last message that you want everybody to hear I want them to know that there is Living Hope for today with the certainty for tomorrow and that stems from your choices empowering people to understand and be aware that you have a choice even if people have made choices for you you still have a choice how are you going to respond so I want to empower people to to be aware of that and to live into a Living Hope it's available it's it's there for us all but it's a choice fantastic Carolyn thank you so much for sharing your heart your hope your passion with us and we hope that everyone we hope that everyone would if they're interesting they like what they hear to check out your book on Amazon and also if any if they're interested in what we they hear today and that they will like to either give us a like or subscribe that they can hear more and more good stories like this thank you so much I hope you have a blessed Endeavor with your book and also what's to come when you guys travel back to Uganda well thank you Lily I really appreciate your invitation to come on today um it's an honor to be in this space and um yes I truly hope and pray for everybody listening that they can tangibly grab a hold of this and live a life of abundance and joy and hope like has thank you I hope you enjoyed the episode we have a lot of fun putting the episodes together trying to bring you quality guests and good content so that we can Inspire each of us to be our best version of ourselves it would mean so much to us if you would subscribe to our Channel and like our videos hope to see you next time [Music]